Beautiful reflection and you’re not alone in feeling like there was an enduring time warp. It’s undeniable even if people can’t (won’t) articulate it.
A writer/theorist I admire, Mark Fisher, has helped me grasp what’s happened/happening with his writings on “hauntology.” The notion that the present is haunted by lost futures of the past. He writes about how this shows up in pop culture and aesthetics as there being “nothing new” as a result of late stage capitalism.
In my mind, your writings are in conversation with Mark’s. And it feels like rather than continue on some imagined, false trajectory out of the rupture (which would be most convenient to capitalism), you’re continuing on the “z-axis” by taking a critical eye to the landscape. I realize that ultimately $ needs to flow and we need to somehow feel well (and deserve to), but I think your finger IS on the pulse, if that makes sense. Your musings feel rehabilitating to me and I hope you experience what feels like rehabilitation to you, even if it’s on the “z-axis”.
Wow, thank you for saying this. Z-axis indeed! And that's a good point - I don't necessarily need to get back on the same path as the imagined lost future that's haunting me. Honestly, I have been lucid dreaming of being all alone in a space pod floating further from earth and all my attachments or shrinking to the size of a bug and being vacuumed up, sent down the chute, cleaning myself off, curling up in my bed and opening a nice warm, glowing laptop to muse on Substack. In these visions, disappearing and starting anew feel really good. And I would like to read more Mark Fisher. What a mind!
This was such a beautiful essay. You know, the thing about riding a horse is, you can't get on it until you can trust yourself. Horses have a way of bringing out the best in us, but we first have to do our best to work out shit out, and until that happens they wait. So maybe you just need a little more time and a little more trust, and then you can ride that ride and you get to choose the song to dance to and dance the night away with the most deserving dance partner....
Beautiful reflection and you’re not alone in feeling like there was an enduring time warp. It’s undeniable even if people can’t (won’t) articulate it.
A writer/theorist I admire, Mark Fisher, has helped me grasp what’s happened/happening with his writings on “hauntology.” The notion that the present is haunted by lost futures of the past. He writes about how this shows up in pop culture and aesthetics as there being “nothing new” as a result of late stage capitalism.
In my mind, your writings are in conversation with Mark’s. And it feels like rather than continue on some imagined, false trajectory out of the rupture (which would be most convenient to capitalism), you’re continuing on the “z-axis” by taking a critical eye to the landscape. I realize that ultimately $ needs to flow and we need to somehow feel well (and deserve to), but I think your finger IS on the pulse, if that makes sense. Your musings feel rehabilitating to me and I hope you experience what feels like rehabilitation to you, even if it’s on the “z-axis”.
Wow, thank you for saying this. Z-axis indeed! And that's a good point - I don't necessarily need to get back on the same path as the imagined lost future that's haunting me. Honestly, I have been lucid dreaming of being all alone in a space pod floating further from earth and all my attachments or shrinking to the size of a bug and being vacuumed up, sent down the chute, cleaning myself off, curling up in my bed and opening a nice warm, glowing laptop to muse on Substack. In these visions, disappearing and starting anew feel really good. And I would like to read more Mark Fisher. What a mind!
The Upstream episode about him is a great intro! Lots of themes that you write about:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/upstream/id1082594532?i=1000626021933
Thank you. I just ordered two of his books. I’ll reread Capitalist Realism, too. 🙏🏼
This was such a beautiful essay. You know, the thing about riding a horse is, you can't get on it until you can trust yourself. Horses have a way of bringing out the best in us, but we first have to do our best to work out shit out, and until that happens they wait. So maybe you just need a little more time and a little more trust, and then you can ride that ride and you get to choose the song to dance to and dance the night away with the most deserving dance partner....
love you ❤️
love you, too!!!
Yes indeed. The vibe has to be right and the trust will follow.